Ask Sam: Coping with A Loss

[Written in September 2019]

Hello GlamourGals, Sam here with another question from a volunteer. This one comes from Nicole in Ohio,

Dear Sam,

A senior I became close to at makeovers recently passed away. She was really important to me and I am sad about it. How do I deal with that?

As a volunteer, you will probably see many of the same faces at the senior home during your visits each month. However, sometimes as a volunteer, you may have to deal with the loss of a senior and you two may have been close. Dealing with the grief from that loss can be upsetting. Here are a few tips on how to deal with that.

1. DON’T KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN.

Trying to suppress your emotions is not healthy (even though everyone tries to sometimes). Let yourself express your feelings about a senior’s death. It's okay to cry. Even though you may have only just met them, people can quickly make a big impact on your life, and losing them may be an emotional experience. Just remember, it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do.

2. TALK TO SOMEONE.

It can be almost anyone: A friend, fellow GG volunteer, a relative, your parents. It’s important and good to express how you feel. If you are not sure who to talk to, you can always reach out to a counselor at school or your GG advisor. Expressing your thoughts to someone can help you cope and work through these difficult emotions.

3. WRITE ABOUT IT.

Write about how you feel, whether in a personal journal or something to share with others. You can even share your feelings with your fellow GlamourGals by journaling on Chapters.GlamourGals.org. It can be nice to share a story about a senior that was really important to you, to help you manage what you are feeling. It can also help you to remember the good times you both shared. If you’re comfortable sharing what you wrote, it can be a great way to let others know about the kind of person the senior was, the things you loved about them, or the impact they had on your life with the world.

4. FIND A WAY OF HONORING THEM.

Honoring a senior in a personal way is also a way of coping with loss. It can be as simple as baking their favorite cookie recipe, playing their favorite song, or sharing their memory with others. You don’t have to do anything big to honor their memory - you can even honor them just by continuing to go to makeovers and making other seniors as happy as you made them.

There are many different ways to cope. If one of these ways doesn’t work for you, don’t get discouraged. Everyone has different ways of dealing with loss. The most important thing is to make sure you deal with your feelings in a healthy way that works for you.

Remember that the senior would want to you to continue living your life and visiting the seniors even if they’re now gone. Continue going to the senior home, giving manicures and makeovers to the women and men you visit, and make meaningful bonds with the seniors. They will be so happy that you are continuing to serve your community and the rest of the seniors at the facility.

What advice would you give to a friend dealing with the loss of a senior they were close to?

That’s all for now!